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Boundaries Before The Move

By: Motivational Mary


Whenever a newly married couple decides to move in together, they must have a conversation about boundaries. If they lack this conversation, the relationship will be jeopardized for a lack of unity, understanding, and expectations. Boundaries are needed to protect the couple's relationship, develop a strong moral foundation, create healthy dialogue, and meet your partner's needs.

There are four main boundaries I would suggest every couple discuss before moving together:

1. Financial Boundaries: Many couples struggle with unexpected costs and/or a lack of budgeting. It's best to have a set goal in mind when it pertains to paying what bill and how much is too much to spend on materialistic items or dates. Some people believe that having two incomes allows them to save more money and pay fewer household expenses while the other picks up the slack.

2. Family and friend boundaries: Bringing two lives together under one roof can shed light on their individual lifestyle choices. One individual may like to have company over without asking, while the other enjoys their privacy most of the time. Implementing this boundary will not be easy with some family or friends, but they are not who you go home to at night.

3. Household Chore Boundaries: While it's easy to make your own decision to not clean or throw clothes around the house, it may not be the best idea to neglect the obvious under one roof. The couple must devise a strategy for determining who will do which chores and when. I like to think a timeline is best to give to one another.


4. Belief system boundaries: Some may have moved into a space with the opposite sex without holding onto their beliefs. Oftentimes, the belief system we have as Christians is thrown to the side for the sake of getting what we want versus what we need. This has to be the most important boundary a person must keep. You can not change a person to believe the same as you if they do not currently possess it.


While discussing boundaries can trigger someone, I always believe it's how you present the matter. To make sure it's in a civil and respectful manner, address this when you are both in a good place with no distractions. A date or movie night is a great way to handle difficult discussions. You can also use your mate's love language and approach it from that end. The goal is to be true to who you are in Christ and yourself, so don't make the move before you know where someone is concerning your boundaries.

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About The Author:

Motivational Mary is a wife, woman of GOD and mom who loves to write and speak about moving beyond the past to live in the present. Growing up without a natural father was a struggle for her. Through her life it brought on great pain and experiences. However, with great pain and experiences comes wisdom. She was able to overcome bullying, domestic violence and condemnation. This allowed her to establish her organization “Motivational Mary in 2014 and self-publish 5 books. She has been recognized for several awards and been featured in the news for what GOD has done in her to help others.


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